Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
