i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
