There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize