Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The best revenge is premature balding
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
