yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
