kristin has been a bad kristin
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
