The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
