Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
