My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
