I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
