Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
