just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize