piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
