You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
