Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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