I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
