cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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