i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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