Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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