VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
