it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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