I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
