google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
