Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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