Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We are all done wearing pants today
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
