Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well you can't waste a boner
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize