she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
