I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
