I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize