she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
