You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
