i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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