its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize