Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
