Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
