In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
