singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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