I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
