i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
