Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
