spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize