Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
