I think I am morally bankrupt
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
