Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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