There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
