We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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