i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
