Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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