Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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