You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
