I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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