No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
