:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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