No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
