margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
