Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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(540): View more from Virginia

I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I respect the size of her balls.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Well that would explain the bones in my purse.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.

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