I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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