and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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