I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
