i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
