every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
