If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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