My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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